Long Time No Write

Hello my cherubs, I haven't written you guys in ages!  I am sorry, been a bit off my game with endless doctor appointments and wrapping up work, etc.

So a quick list of things:

1) You guys are doing splendidly in there.  You're growing well, and probably will be a little over 6lbs each when you're out.  Which is very soon!  Less than a week now.

2)  We got to move into the house early, which means that your room actually has some furniture set up due to the industrious efforts of your papa and the generosity of your grandma.  There are boxes everywhere, but you have a yard and we got lemon trees planted and potted and an herb garden set up. There are guest rooms for both your grandmas too!

3)  Actually, the amount of stuff we have for you is a testament to the generosity of the many aunts and uncles you have.  You are highly anticipated and already much loved.  There are clothes and swing-y chairs and awesome books and sleep sheep and other awesome toys and things will make you more comfy.  Your first party, the baby shower, was super fun!  Your godmothers did a great job and set up an awesome party full of good food, food friends, and because I love your father, tie-dye onesies.  Yes, your father is already planning a matching tie-dye outfits day.  I will likely not be participating.

4)  The two of you hiccup quite often.  It's weird to feel but apparently some people feel it's a good sign of neurological development or something.  Whoever knows.  But I hope it doesn't hurt in there!

5) Your doctor said I could have a margarita because you are already almost out of your comfy home and mostly formed.  That's because he's awesome.  He's super nice and fun and really reassuring about things.  On Monday, he's going to take a knife to Mommy's stomach and let you guys out.  Don't worry, I intend to be well drugged before this happens.  And it's good because you're in breech position, Aggie darling.  Your butt is down and you're kicking your legs and hitting my pelvis regularly.  Bertie, your head is down and your growth slowed down so you're not much bigger than your sister.  I wonder who will come out first!

6) Mommy finally went off of work.  I have yet to go a day yet when I have not responded to work email or done some drafting, but I have hopes it will happen soon!

7)  Dad installed your carseats so you can actually come home.  We're going to go check it out tomorrow to make sure it's installed okay.

That's all for now - will write again soon!

Hiccups!

Bertie, you had hiccups today!  We could feel your rhythmic hiccuping through the belly!  Pretty cool.

We've planned for your future.

We realized this morning that your porn names will be, "Dude Woodbridge".  So, you're welcome :)

Dear Lord, I am quite pregnant

Here I am at 29 weeks!  It looks like I stuffed a giant teddy bear under my tank top.

On the flip side, thank you for not making me look huge from the back.

Random Thoughts

A few things, cherubs o' mine.

1)  I am craving Indian food on the regular right now.  I NEVER crave Indian food.  So I blame you for this.

2)  I do not enjoy the words "much stronger motor" when referring to things that will attach to my person, aka a breast pump for you two.

3)  Registering for you two is way less fun than I thought it would be.  Perhaps because despite the many many many resources I have about this, I still have no clue about what I might need for you two.  I guess we will make do at some point.

4)  You two are in there waging war against mommy.  I swear I feel your elbows and feet and knees and things all day long.

Your mother "asks" and I comply. :)

Aggie

Bertie

Head to Head

I like to complain that the machines that do these can't just email the pics... Your mom just shakes her head and thinks, "what a geek".

Do you like keyboards?

Hi cherubs, you are currently kicking up a storm.   I think it's because I have my laptop resting on my belly while I was doing some work, and the pair of you were not having it.  That's okay because I like to feel you in there kicking away because I know that you are doing just fine.

Anyhow, happy 27 weeks!  At your ultrasound this past week, you are both over 2 lbs now.  Bertie, you are 2lb6 oz and Aggie, you are a little smaller at 2lb 3 oz.  Oh wait, that's the other way around.  Anyhow, you guys have GIANT heads, just like your mommy.  Your heads are growing 2 whole weeks ahead of schedule!  But that's okay, more brain is good for you.

I have also started taking fish oils with my prenatal vitamins (sorry I haven't been doing it all along) so hopefully your brains will be happily well developed, and getting more and more wrinkly by the day.  I will get daddy to add your pictures here later.  You have faces!

25 Weeks. At Aunt Chrissy's wedding.

I may or may not be a little bit tipsy in this picture.  

How dare you?!

What makes you think you can go around just kicking your daddy like that?!

(Good job) :)

On the eve of Week 24

And your mother still asks, "Do I look pregnant?"   What do you think?

March Madness

Hi cherubs, sorry for neglecting you!  This past month has been crazy busy!  Two offsites at work for me, three weekend trips in a row, and three doctor's appointments for you two, and maybe buying you two a house to grow up in...About those doctors appointments, two of them were over two hours in duration because your cheeky selves would not cooperate with the ultrasound tech!  All she wanted to do was make sure that you had all your parts and everything was going gangbusters, but nooooo.  All you to wanted to do was thrash about and moon us and hide your face with your hands.  Troublemakers.  Everything they did see seemed a-okay so perhaps you are not in as much trouble as you would have otherwise been.  See below for shots of your adorable selves at almost 23 weeks:

You two were over a pound each at the last scan.  So weird when I remember you were the size of a sesame seed each.  And now you weigh more than the boxes of pasta you will be eating with regularity when you are older.  

Okay, I really should be getting dressed for work.  I just want you to know that my current obsession is ricotta pancakes with blueberry compote that I saw Curtis Stone make on television last night.  And also, your love of bell peppers continues on.  I ate every bell pepper (fished them out even) of the green beef curry I had for lunch yesterday.  More pictures and updates later!

Hello Heartburn

Well cherubs, as of last week, you are apparently each the length of a banana and the weight of a can of cola.  You both have giant heads and are growing ahead of schedule, which is not a huge shock given that I have a huge head and I was a 10lb+ baby.  Your poor grandmother gave birth to both me and your Uncle Duck vaginally, and he was over 11lb!  Your Aunt Jeannie was the first baby, so she was like 7lb8oz or something normal like that.

Your dad and I signed up for prenatal classes - we have nary a clue about what to do with you.  And up until now, I have blanked it all out.  Just been concentrating on keeping you guys healthy in there, healthy enough to kick me in the belly button apparently.  I haven't bought a single thing for you (but don't worry, your Grandma Fran is making up for it in spades) because I've been so nervous about how you guys are doing.  I don't think I will yet.

At work, your Aunt Shay is feeling inspired by gross baby cakes (imagine pictures of faces peeping out from between buttercream legs) so who knows what she might come up with for the baby shower.  She once made this awesome bunny cake, see below, inspired by the killer rabbit from Monty Python, so she is totally capable of figuring out a creepy cake to welcome you guys to the world...

Anyhow, so Mommy's boss, Cheesesteak, wanted Mommy to go to China for work.  Thankfully, your doctor said, um, no.  And we appreciate that because you, like the rest of the family, are a pair of Taiwanese nationalists.  Also, we appreciate that we don't have to breathe in some disgusting smoggy air that has been leading to the creation of cancer villages in China.

Finally, I read that you can now taste things that I eat.  Or maybe you can taste the amniotic fluid.  Whatever it is, you are no longer in Mexican food phase.  Nor are you enjoying Mommy's true love of spicy foods.  (You are, however, still enjoying the bell peppers).  And in return for Mommy eating these things, you have decided to reward me with some terrible terrible heartburn.  Even from a croissant this morning!  That's just mean.  Very mean.

That's all I got kiddos.  Be good in there.  I have taken to calling you Agatha and Bertha.  Aggie and Bertie.  Don't worry, you know now that they are decoy names while we keep your names secret from the world.

Millions of Eggs

Hi cherubs, you had your anatomy scan today.  I lay on my back for the longest time in months, and a very nice sonographer stared at all parts of you guys. Your brain, your spine, your little feet, your kidneys, your stomach, your hands, your nose, your lip, your palate, your heart, etc.  Then she looked between your legs.  I thought I saw a pouch of skin suggesting testicle, but apparently I am terrible at this.  There were no penises to be found, on either of you, and so congrats, you're girls!

You probably knew this already by this point.  You know, since you have no Y chromosome but it's sort of a surprise to me.  I'd been saying you two were girls for weeks now, but deep down I still expected a boy.  Your super mathematical dad figured a girl/boy was the most common occurrence.  But you followed the tradition of the Tsai women and you're ladies.  As I told your Uncle Quinns, girls are way less likely to be murderers, so we're glad you're girls!  Your Auntie Shay said she could hear you two gossiping to each other when she listened to my belly yesterday, and apparently she was right.

Apparently by this time in your development, you each have 6 million eggs or thereabouts!  Crazy!  So along with my own, I am a walking egg bank right now!

Anyhow, your father also took a belly picture for our enjoyment.  Behold how giant you are making your mama (you are each 12 oz today!)...

Mommy has been looking at pictures of celebrities who are due the same time as me to see who is more pregnant.  And wtf.  Here are your comparisons (to be fair, they are all carrying just one apparently):

Duchess Cambridge, who is carrying the Royal Heir to Great Britain.  Doesn't she look SUPER pregnant?!?

Jenna Dewan-Tatum, wife of the super hot Channing Tatum, at the Oscars.  Doesn't she look gorgeous?

Kim Kardashian, carrying the baby of Kanye West, and dude, look at that butt.

So It's Official

I apparently like bell peppers.  And by "I," I mean me being controlled by you two, the puppet masters.  Keep in mind that for years, I hated bell peppers. All bell peppers.  Some people say, they are fine with red, but not with green.  I never liked any of them.  It's one of the things that your father and I had in common.  (And also Grandma, who doesn't like them either).

But then on Monday this week, I was at lunch having tempura at Caffe Macs (yes, the food is fancy here).  And it was a mixed tempura so true to form, I ate the salmon, the scallops, the shrimp, the broccoli and the squash first.  Then there were two.  A carrot and a red bell pepper.  I ate the carrot because I thought you guys might need some beta carotene for night vision.  And then I was in the middle of a lunch meeting and couldn't leave, so I snapped off a little piece of tempura batter from the bell pepper.  And it tasted so good that I devoured the whole thing.  I was shocked.  I am a woman who has told everyone across the land that bell peppers are terrible because the flavor of them contaminates anything they are in.  And there I was, eating a bell pepper.

Then today, at lunch, I ordered mongolian beef and it had three colors of bell peppers.  And sure enough, once again, they were delicious.  WTF cherubs, wtf?!?

Your Auntie Shay was very happy.  As is your Uncle Gerg no doubt.  Me, I am confused.  And I blame you.

Announcement #2

Hey kiddies, today we had announcement number 2 via the Facebook.  I wonder if it will still be around when you guys are using computers.  Probably will have been replaced by something cooler and hipper and you guys will make fun of me for using Facebook.  Bratty children.

Anyhow, as your dad puts it, a seismic wave of good wishes came your way from Mommy and Daddy's friends all over the world.  It's sort of cool, and we're hearing from people we haven't heard from in a while.  I will explain to you who all these people are later, but it's nice and there are lots of people who are excited to meet you.

Also, Mommy told her boss yesterday that you two were coming.  He kissed my cheek and hugged me for too long.  It was sort of adorable.  Then he told me that it was time to start thinking about myself first before Apple (where Mommy currently works) and that I should start delegating more.  It's a relief to not have to think about the most baggy, least stomach-revealing clothes every day to work.  Cheesesteak was warm and fuzzy and supportive, which is nice for the Mommy's peace of mind.

Oh, you guys had a check up yesterday (which led to all this news spilling).  Apparently my cervix is not incompetent, so you guys shouldn't fall out before you are done cooking.  And the third genetic screening test came back and everything was negative, hurrah!  While it isn't a guarantee, it is telling us that the risk of you guys having some genetic disorders are pretty low.  And we looked at your heartbeats, and you guys are all good.  Nice work so far, cherubs.  Keep up the great work!

So cherubs, in what universe is it fair that I have to drink a gallon of water a day and then am up all night, night after night, with dry mouth?  At least it means that I have lots of water in me at all times of day and night since I am constantly wetting my mouth.

The first Announcement

The day has finally arrived! All tests look good, and we're ready to broadcast your arrival. Here's my post to Google+ (the social network I'm working on at the moment).

(Yes, my profile image is a picture of a lego statue of a dude in a tie-dye shirt, jean shorts, and a big jew fro. That's exactly what I looked like when your mother first saw me. No clue how we got past that first moment.)

Double the Trouble

Hi cherubs, I am glad there are two of you in there.  You guys can be buds.

But I sure am glad that there are not four of you:

http://www.sfgate.com/life/healthzone/article/Mom-gives-birth-to-two-sets-of-identical-twins-at-4287871.php

Law School Flashbacks

All of a sudden, all I want is pizza and Sunkist.  I blame your uncle Gerg.  We had that meal many a time in law school.

Sunkist is caffeinated in the States do that's not happening.  I already had the pizza...

Waterlogged

Baby brioches, I have been depriving you.  Depriving you of precious water you need for your healthy development.  I am sorry!! I thought having a minimum of two liters of water a day was enough.  But last week, the case manager said I am barely having enough water!!  Apparently, with the pair of you, I need to have a gallon a day!!  Gah.

Your first pictures

A couple of pictures of you guys, to look back on fondly.

One of you is all stretched out as your picture was taken -you are 13 weeks.

The other one of you was sucking your thumb - you are 13 weeks.

One of you is all sprawled out, and the other one is all curled up at the top.  You guys are baby cherubs here.  Just past 12 weeks.

Happy 18 Weeks!

Hi cherubs, you just finished 18 weeks of development kicking it in the belly.  Depending on which website one reads, you are either the size of a mango dipped in cheese (gross, but it's something about some layer of fat which is protecting you guys from becoming raisins with the amniotic fluid), a banana pepper, a bell pepper, or a deli pickle.  In any event, you are growing steadily in there, and I think I can feel you more every day (especially when Daddy is driving around winding roads and you guys are sloshing around in there).

To celebrate your 18th week in the womb birthday, we went to Mendocino.  Your dad planned a trip and we had a gorgeous weekend along the Northern Californian coast.  Buns booked us into a bed and breakfast which was adorable, but hilarious because the restaurant was vegan.  Cherubs, you do not currently enjoy the vegan food.  I had chilaquiles with tofu eggs, and it was sort of gross.  Anyhow, after too many hours of traffic on the way out there, we checked into our adorable room complete with fireplace and we went to a lighthouse, and walked along the gorgeous Mendocino headlands, and we saw llamas, and miniature donkeys, and horses and sheep and tons of dogs.  We took the Dubster to a off leash dog park where he got tricked by waves that splashed him when he wasn't looking and we had superb food at a little French restaurant.  All in all, you guys had a pretty good 18th week in the womb birthday!

Also, this homeless man (or he may have been a very dirty hippy) sad to me, you are beautiful like a picture, and look, you're carrying a little one!  Little did he know that there are two!  Doctor's appointment this week, so I hope you guys are doing well in there!

See below for a shot of your parents at the Marin headlands.

Valentine's Day

Hi baby brioches, I thought today would be a good day to tell you about the last romantic Valentine's Day your dad and I had before you guys.

So I hope that you know this by the time that you read this, but I really love your father.  He's thoughtful, kind, loving, generous, smart, funny, patient and pretty much the best partner a girl could hope to have.  This morning, he decided to display his many virtues in the form of breakfast.  This morning, the Dubster woke me up by doing his morning tyrant session (although I feel like you two will likely take over the tyranting throne when you come to join us).  I woke up and noticed your dad wasn't in bed and the bedroom door was uncharacteristically closed.  I got up to let out the Dubster and your dad said, "close the door sweetie."  I thought I smelled something, but was too sleepy to worry about it so I went back to bed.

Flowers that your dad had waiting for me when I woke up.

Later on, at 7:30 ish, he told me to come into the living room and there was a lovely vase full of orange tulips (my second favorite flower after peonies, which are not in season right now) and breakfast.  Your dad had woken up at 6am to make me waffles, from scratch, and sausage, and fresh whipped cream.  The night before, I went with your Uncle Yuping to go see Die Hard and he apparently sorted out things with florists and got groceries and hid them from me.  Then in the morning, he woke up, and he actually beat egg whites to fold into the waffle batter because he read they would be more delicious that way.  And then Buns and I had breakfast, which you two thoroughly enjoyed, and sausage which I shared with the Dubster and we were all happy.

Tonight, we are going for dinner at a restaurant I've wanted to try in Half Moon Bay, and then we are all going to Mendocino for the weekend tomorrow.  Pretty awesome, if I say so myself.

You guys are too young to think about these things, but I can only hope that you can find the same kind of partner in your life as I found in your father.  And that you guys grow up to be more like him than like me.

Happy Valentine's Day, cherubs!

Fruit and milk

Last night, I talked to Grandma (partially to wish her a happy Chinese New Year, but partially to check in on you two).  Her advice this week was, if you want your babies to have beautiful skin, drink lots of milk and eat plenty of fruit.  And while I generally laugh at her advice, because she cracks me up, I am sitting here drinking chocolate milk.  And I had grapes and an orange yesterday.  So apparently you never get too old to take your Mama's advice.

Also children, I am lactose intolerant.  I hope for your sakes that you are not and can enjoy dairy with impunity.  And that you appreciate how much I love you when I drink milk.

And yes, this is a guilt trip technique that you will know well by the time you are capable of reading these blog entries.

Happy New Year!

Hi cherubs!  Happy new year!  Last night, I had a dream that there was a snake that was in the yard, and we were trying to figure out how to avoid it.  But then it kept coming at me!  Since it's the year of the Snake, and your Chinese horoscope sign will be the Snake, I have to assume that it's because I am apprehensive about you two.

Seriously though, your very anxious mother has not been calm and zen throughout this pregnancy. I worry about you guys every day, worry about whether you're healthy and happy, whether you are still there or you broke curfew, whether I am looking pregnant enough, etc. And because of that, I have made up all sorts of rules about when we're allowed to talk about/think about things, of which rules your father has been very lovely and tolerant.  Some of the things include no talking about logistics until after the first trimester, no talking about names until the third trimester, no signing up for parenting classes until after the 20 week anatomy scan, and other things that are designed to make me feel better about you two.  It's seriously insane, and I know this.  I try to be calm because I know you guys are unhappy if I am stressed, and for the most part, I think it's working.  But then of course, your crack medical team may be helping with that bit.

Anyhow, the moral of the story is that I am scared but also happy and so excited to meet you two.  I wonder what you're going to look like (hopefully like Daddy), whether you're going to get along with the Dubster (see right), whether you will have my memory and/or Dad's spatial skills, what it's going to feel like to hold you.  I am so hopeful but terrified all at once.  You will see one day, God willing.

Oh, as a side note, I made dumplings for dinner as is the tradition on Chinese New Year (once, your grandpa tricked me into making 500!).  You, however, did not love them.  They all tasted like lamb to me, and I believe it's all your fault!  Lamb flavored boiled dumplings is not delicious kiddies.  Not delicious.  Daddy was sad, and may have lectured you about the importance of dumplings.  Please try to sort that out.  Thanks.

Hisssss

Aunt Stephanie has this to say about your astrological sign - I am sort of grossed out thinking about you two and sexuality:

Sensual Snakes are sensitive to changes in weather, dislike the cold, and accordingly during Snake years warmer climates are preferred. A creative, artistic year, filled with pleasure, enlightenment and beauty. Music, dance, art galleries and museums thrive. 2013 brings a slower paced, quiet, behind-the-scenes lifestyle.

A deep-thinking, philosophical year, where intuition and all things middle-of-the-road reign supreme. Beware the green eyes of jealousy in 2013, as Snakes are also quite possessive of that which they call their own. Carnal passions and deliciously scandalous romances abound.

Some of the most physically beautiful women and powerful men were born under this sign. Sexuality is a Snake specialty.

Ravenous

Baby Brioches, you were hungry this morning.  I had a morning meeting and I forgot to grab a Nutrigrain bar so you were not happy.  I could tell because you were either kicking me, or writhing from low blood sugar.  I grabbed a dollar after my meeting and went in search of something from the vending machine.  But you were saved by the group fruit basket.  And so we all had a pear, perfectly ripe, and we were happy.

But then...I went to lunch with Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Amy.  And you were still hungry.  And before I knew it, I had ordered one chocolate shake, one basket of chicken tenders, and one swiss and mushroom hamburger, medium well of course.  And they came with a side of fries.  Which I proceeded to eat, dipped in ranch.  All of it.  Except half of the burger.

You stopped kicking me.  Perhaps because you are too full to move.  You are lying there, like I wish I were, waiting for the food to digest.

Well done, cherubs, well done.

Ouch

Darling children, you know I love you.  But must you make it so I wake up every morning with a headache?  I know it's not you, and it's the increased blood volume.  But it's no sort of joy in the am to wake up like I had a night of boozing behind me.  Especially as I have had no booze in months.  I know that my doctor told me that Tylenol is okay, but I don't want to take something unless I have to.

Also, one of the things that makes Buns crazy about me is that I do not wake up hungry.  Usually, I feel like my stomach is still sleeping because I am awake earlier than I would like.  But recently, I am starving in the morning, and I think it must be you two.  Buns says, of course, because you're his children.

Also, Lent starts next week.  In the past few years, I have been tried to do something good for myself (leading to many 1am gym sessions) and give something up (the beef/pork once a day last year was harder than I had expected).  But this year, you two are my something good.  And I am giving up raw fish, raw eggs, undercooked meat, large fish, soft cheeses, caffeine, alcohol, sleeping on my back, and salicylic acid for you two.  So happy Mardi Gras to you two!

Out of Breath

This morning, you two were doing something weird.  Moving around too much or something, but it sort of felt hard to breathe when I was lying in bed.  I read that's normal, but it's not delightful.

You guys still have a thing for Mexican food.  Salsas and spices and other Mexican flavors.  I barely resisted a Meximelt at Taco Bell yesterday, but only because I knew Dad was out getting us food.  It was hard though, because I think it's what you really wanted.  But you were rewarded with carne asada enchiladas, so all's well that ends well.

Did you know that you get fingerprints from swirling your little hands around in amniotic fluid?  That's why no two set of fingerprints are identical.  Weird, huh?

16w3d Scan

We had your 16 week scan today.  Well, 16 week and 3 day.  You guys were both hiding behind my belly button (aka the belly button cesspool) causing a long shadow on the ultrasound.  Thus, no heartbeats measured, no CRL to be had.  Instead, the pair of you were moving about to no end.  I think one of you even mooned us.  Which led the doc to tell us that he thinks you're a girl.  But if you're not a girl, well, hopefully this doesn't embarrass you when you're a teenager.

Another scan will occur in 2 weeks, where they will check to make sure nothing is open down there so that you might fall out.  And then at the beginning of March, full anatomy scans for the pair of you!

Best Super Bowl Commercial

Watching this commercial yesterday totally made me cry.  I blame you two.

Adorable baby horse commercial

Do I just look chubs?

For weeks now, I have been making your father crazy with daily questions of "does this make me look pregnant?"  The thing is, even just past 16 weeks, I haven't yet made a public announcement about being pregnant, so I am still trying to keep it on the dl.  However today, I put on a totally normal outfit for me, jeans (albeit maternity ones) and a shirt that I always thought looked flattering on me.  As I looked in the mirror, I thought, oh shoot, I am totally pregnant.  My belly has outgained my boobs!  Nice work kids.

The thing is, the scale tells me I've only put on 3 lbs or so since before I was pregnant.  And I am pretty sure those 3 lbs are all giant uterus, amniotic fluid, and you.  So it's time to amp it up.  Milkshakes are my plan toward putting on enough weight for you two.  Maybe the doc will tell me tomorrow that it's all fine and that I am putting on plenty of weight.  But we will see, my cherubs, we will see.

Hope you're having fun in there!  I read that you two are touching each other now (well, as best as you can through your separate placentas).  Play nice please.  Also, as of Saturday, you are apparently each the size of an avocado.  Your grandma asked, when I told her, a big avocado or a little avocado.  I wasn't sure how to answer, so I just said a 4 inch avocado.  That seemed to make her feel better.

Shame

So among the things I can't do or eat or drink is caffeine.  Apparently doctors say that once in a while, some caffeine is a-okay.  But I am a paranoid sort, so I have not had any boba milk teas, or ice mochas, or cold Coca Cola.  Yesterday, I broke down.  I have to admit, I had a Coke.  A cold frosty Coke.  But then a wave of shame over me, and I drank tons of water to wash the taste away.

I figure you didn't mind it, and that it made you wave your arms a little more.  But no more Coke for me until after you guys come out.

Cravings

Hi my baby brioches.  There are many things that I can't eat right now to make sure you guys turn out right.  But oddly enough, the thing I really want right now is a cold cut sandwich.  Like this:

But listeria says no.  So no sandwich for me.