Hello Heartburn

Well cherubs, as of last week, you are apparently each the length of a banana and the weight of a can of cola.  You both have giant heads and are growing ahead of schedule, which is not a huge shock given that I have a huge head and I was a 10lb+ baby.  Your poor grandmother gave birth to both me and your Uncle Duck vaginally, and he was over 11lb!  Your Aunt Jeannie was the first baby, so she was like 7lb8oz or something normal like that.

Your dad and I signed up for prenatal classes - we have nary a clue about what to do with you.  And up until now, I have blanked it all out.  Just been concentrating on keeping you guys healthy in there, healthy enough to kick me in the belly button apparently.  I haven't bought a single thing for you (but don't worry, your Grandma Fran is making up for it in spades) because I've been so nervous about how you guys are doing.  I don't think I will yet.

At work, your Aunt Shay is feeling inspired by gross baby cakes (imagine pictures of faces peeping out from between buttercream legs) so who knows what she might come up with for the baby shower.  She once made this awesome bunny cake, see below, inspired by the killer rabbit from Monty Python, so she is totally capable of figuring out a creepy cake to welcome you guys to the world...

Anyhow, so Mommy's boss, Cheesesteak, wanted Mommy to go to China for work.  Thankfully, your doctor said, um, no.  And we appreciate that because you, like the rest of the family, are a pair of Taiwanese nationalists.  Also, we appreciate that we don't have to breathe in some disgusting smoggy air that has been leading to the creation of cancer villages in China.

Finally, I read that you can now taste things that I eat.  Or maybe you can taste the amniotic fluid.  Whatever it is, you are no longer in Mexican food phase.  Nor are you enjoying Mommy's true love of spicy foods.  (You are, however, still enjoying the bell peppers).  And in return for Mommy eating these things, you have decided to reward me with some terrible terrible heartburn.  Even from a croissant this morning!  That's just mean.  Very mean.

That's all I got kiddos.  Be good in there.  I have taken to calling you Agatha and Bertha.  Aggie and Bertie.  Don't worry, you know now that they are decoy names while we keep your names secret from the world.